Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
