So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
