pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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