At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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