You smell like a Billy Joel song
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
