Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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