I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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