No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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