I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
