come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
