So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
