How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
