i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
