Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
