Duck Duck Cougar?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
