After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
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