I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
is that a dick in a sweater?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
