sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
