Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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