did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
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Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
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I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream