I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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