Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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