At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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