so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
