There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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