He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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