My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
They have beer where we have blood.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
