Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
