I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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