I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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