Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
