yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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