Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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