when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm jealous of your bromance
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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