remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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