The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
