make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
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I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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