bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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