Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
