"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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