I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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