): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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