Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
