dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
