dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
