I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
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On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
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the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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