That's intense
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
