You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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