brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Randomize
