Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Randomize
