No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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