If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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