I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
