Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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