I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
