why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
