If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
