He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
