PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize
