you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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