can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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