insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
